hogwash – 一切(将)归零

Hogwash i.e. reset to zero.

Picked up this term from the game “PIG-pile” which i played today at The Settlers Cafe (anyways, to sickkk and freakkk: it was an enjoyable day. Next time we can jio more pple, like our Mr Choo, and play for a longer time! Em… and also to make sure we play that city/settlement-building game correctly *hahaha*).

Fun times apart. despite my saying that i’ll update the blog with the “things-done-and-not done” during my leave, i failed to do so given the ups-and-downs that came along for the past 2 weeks.

I really feel at times, i dun deserve happiness or well there’s just a cap to how much happiness i can have. when the knock-out level is reached, all happiness will be taken away in a flash and i’ll be slapped with pain and hurt. a (cliche) piece of advice to all: dun ever take things for granted; feel the blessings on you when you get to be with your family, friends and loved ones.

anyways, why did i feel that it’s time to hogwash? well, the moment i had been waiting for had finally arrived. As early as 2 wks ago, people had been telling/asking me,
Congratulations! You’re a senior!!!
Are you excited? Are you ready?
I smiled and inside my heart, i’m actually thinking: Ya, ready….ready to tender.
it was really mixed feelings on Friday when promo/bonus letters were out. There were only 2 types of expressions on the people who came out from the Partner’s room:
(1) Smiles for those who got what they expected or MORE than what they had expected or
(2) Grouchy frowns for those who didnt get what they wanted. they are also the people who’ll go around asking others: so how? you happy or not? Basically they’re either hoping to find similar unsatisfied souls or to know who got the highest and why didnt they get the same amt.

Myself? i only dying for this day so that i can proceed with my “letter-exchange”. i didnt feel any excitement like last year (gin put it as: the passion is gone) in fact it was a “down-ness” — a feel of hiding in a hole and watch the world pass by. *hahah Queen, you know this!* Haiii….. anyways i had been flippin the calender, calculating and planning when to do what by when; to the extent that i forgotten why is there a public holiday on 9th aug. which also means i had forgotten that it’s my hatch day. prior to this, i always think that dramas are too exaggerated when those characters got so engrossed with work that they forgot it’s their bday. well, there’s really some truth to the dramas that’s why there’s the phrase 戏如人生!

at the very least, i gotta get out of my “hole”. since the time has come, i gotta play it right now. Resetting to zero is fine, one must know how to get started all over again, that’s more important.

==me==

p.s. last year this time, July 2006, tis was how i felt….